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2/17/2009 What pets do when you aren't at homeWonder what your pets are doing while you're not at home?
And sometimes they follow you to work!
Sorry I haven't been around much. Just a difficult time for me right now. But I think of you all often. I will be around again soon.
Today's Quote It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe. -Robert Service 1/1/2009 New Year
OMG WHAT DID I DO LAST NIGHT? Just kidding, not. I had a wonderful night but I did feel a bit like the picture. 12/3/2008 I Quit!!!
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.I want to return to a time when life was simple, when all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn´t bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.I want to think the world is fair AGAIN !!!That everyone is honest and good.. AGAINI want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things.I want to live simple again.I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.So . . . here's my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my BANK statements.I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you´ll have to catch me first, cause......."I thought I might get your attention <<grin>> Thanks to Danielle because I never would have remembered this post. Seemed perfect for the day.11/19/2008 Cute puppiesEveryone ready to say AAAWWWW
11/14/2008 Can of worms
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive. So ! the Minister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration? A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!" Don't you just love little old ladies. 10/14/2008 10 Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans
Ok who sent me this? Thank you it is very funny and very true.10/7/2008 What mom taught usMe at age 5. Yes there are missing teeth and big ears.
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep crying and Ill give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there til all that spinach is finished." My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a cyclone swept through your room." My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?" My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate!" My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!" Thanks Mom, Love You! 10/5/2008 Stop the conspiracyTHIS KIND OF STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP IN OUR COUNTRY
We Must Stop This Immediately!Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become! I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection......... Well, REALLY NOW- even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them.. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here! All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.
I have not been around the last few days. You may ask, so what were you doing? One word, PAIN. The knee is still swollen and I am sleep deprived. Friday was the only night I have slept through the night. Last night someone called me, had the wrong number at 1:30am. I went on a job interview on Wednesday. When I arrived I met with the owner of the company. It turned out it was the same guy who recruited me last year for a different company. I was surprised to see him but he was not surprised to see me. He was surprised that I followed through with what he recommended and tested for my state license. He was thrilled. I went back on Friday for the second interview with the "mentor". We had a delightful conversation and I enjoyed meeting her so much. I was there in the office for over an hour and felt really at home there. Friday I was at peak pain level and at times near tears if I had to walk. Well regardless, they offered, I accepted. I stipulated I could not start until my knee was better. They understood and so they are sending work over that I can do at home next week. I have to complete CE classes online by Monday. I have 8 hours to complete today. This job takes me out of my comfort zone but it is a chance I have to take. But if there ever was a time and company to take a chance, this is it for me. So as I jump off this cliff, let's see if I can fly.
Well I need to get the classes done. I have looked in on some of you the past few days but not feeling well enough to comment. I hope you understand. When I complete my class work I hope to visit you all and leave comments. If not today then Monday as the job won't send anything over until early in the week. Hope this finds you all well. Enjoy your Sunday. 7/24/2008 14 best fountains
14 - ABU DHABI
13-LAS VEGAS
12 - MIRAGE LAS VEGAS
11-DUBAI
10-DUBAI
9-MOSCOW
8-MOSCOW
7-MOSCOW
6-KIEV
5-ST-PETERSBURG
4-GENEVA
3-BARCELONA
2-TIVOLI
And the number one is
1- ALABAMA
Happy Friday ya'all... 7/22/2008 What a dog can teach you about lifeLIFE....
If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW What a Ride! 7/18/2008 Gary PattersonDear Spacee Friends
Gary Patterson is one of my favorites! You may notice that in every comic he does there is a mouse somewhere. Can you find them?
12/12/2007 True Love?THE LOVE STORY OF JIM AND EDNA Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
11/3/2007 What pets do when you aren't at homeWonder what your pets are doing while you're not at home?
And sometimes they follow you to work!
Today's Quote It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe. -Robert Service 10/31/2007 Cat's revengeDear Dog,
PS Thanks for the bath 10/19/2007 Instruction on how to clean a toilet1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
Sincerely,
I could never be so cruel- but it was funny. 10/13/2007 If Dogs Could Talk...
12/22/2006 Letter from SantaA new contract for Santa
has finally been negotiated. Please read the following carefully... I regret to inform you that,
effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies.... However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement (who happens to be my third cousin), Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us... 1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen ..." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte On Rudd, on Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off!" The last I heard it also had other decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy logo with lights that race through the letters and the other is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee on the Tooth Fairy. 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. 9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs That have been sung about me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the South. Those song titles will be: Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus Shot the Jukebox," Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas Is My Woman and a Six Pack," and Hank Williams Jr.'s "If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You Can Shove It." Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. |
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So I have been a bit of a..., how do you say it here? Bi*** I made the trip to the ER on Thursday. Without insurance I knew they would see me there. So I went, to the smallest hospital around, prepared for hours wait. No one there. I was in and out in 30 minutes. Record time I suppose. And they didn't even charge me. I probably have a torn meniscuses but if so, it is minor and would not require surgery. They basically said keep doing what I was doing but stay off it more. So how exactly do you do that? I live alone. Someone has to walk the dog and I do have to eat and drink. I was sent a gift to help, crutches. This has lessened the pressure on my leg, which is strained in the calf and hip now, but darn those things hurt in a whole other way.
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